So tell me how does one end up on a date with their ex's colleague
Okay so I matched with this guy on Hinge and
Ooh sorry
One second
Didn't we decide to underscore this
Oh my God you're so right yeah
Sorry
Okay so I matched with this guy on Hinge
We start chattin' and suddenly
I'm like Oh shit
I recognize that company name
That is where The Ex works
And this is The Ex
Yeah The Ex
So I'm like Ooh
Ooh actually I think we're gonna save that for verse two
Keep 'em hungry you know would you mind babe
So I'm like Ooh do I really wanna go for a drink with someone who shares a desk with the one that got away
And I'm like
Yes of course
Yeah like obviously
Yeah 'cos like what could possibly go wrong
Well
So it's like any other date
Yes I've hidden all my flaws
So you're charmin' and you're great but strap in
Because it's goin' well
I'm thinkin' What the hell
I'll ask about my ex
What's the worst thing that could happen
No don't tell me aah
Yes he's movin' out to Paris with a girlfriend
What which shocked me
So naturally I cried
My date was terrified
And said Hey let's be friends but now I'm pretty sure he's blocked me
What sucks though is I know
The Ex is out there practicin' Français
Meanwhile I'm sat here in your flat
Back here with you listenin' to me say
Why am I so single
Why am I so alone
I'm so ready to mingle
I don't get it
Why am I so single
My bed's more barren than the backyard of Kris Kringle
Ha ha ha
I don't get it
Just forget it
And I think I'm a decent catch but every time I find a match no matter what I do
I end up sittin' here sinkin' my troubles in a drink
In your flat still thinkin'
Why am I so single
Okay let's stop this mopin' and go out on the town
No I'm too sad and alone
Come on we'll paint it red baby
Redder than your puffy eyes
Great thanks for that
Ooh I know
Right on cue
Let's go away together again on another writin' retreat
Bash out the musical we've got to do
Oh I'd love to but I've actually got a very busy schedule of weepin' to keep up with so unfortunately I won't be able
Oh my God come on shut up
It'll be so fun
Remember last time
We got that little countryside
Airbnb
I'd make you breakfast at the AGA
Oh yeah
And on the night the rain poured
I sat with you and endured
All five feature films in the Twilight Saga
All five feature films in the Twilight Saga
Jacob showed his torso more and more and more so I quietly opened Grindr
But the app was an abyss so while you stayed to watch them kiss
I went to bed and had my own happy endin' kinda
Wait what
Actually wow
Hearin' that now makes it sound like
I'm some rejectee
But no that's me
Yeah 'cos for that to be true
I would need to have had an actual boyfriend to dump me ha ha ha
Why am I so single
Why am I so alone
I'm so ready to mingle
I don't get it
Why am I so single
They say Go get 'em tiger but I'm no Bengal
Rawr like the jungle cat
Thanks we get it
Sure
Oh shall we duet it
And I know I'm a fuckin' ten
And I know I'm a fuckin' ten but when I'm out there fu- but when I'm out there fu-
Datin' men
Datin' men
No matter what I do
I end up sittin' here sinkin'
No matter what we do my troubles in a drink
In my flat still thinkin'
Why am I so single
So we poured ourselves another glass
Chatted more
But don't worry
We didn't lose our composure at all
You're so nice
You're so nice
Both of us are just so very nice
Both of us are just so very nice
And handsome and handsome
We are well-read
Good at givin' advice
We're sexually healthy
We're sexually healthy and adequately wealthy and adequately wealthy
So what the fuckin' hell is goin' on
So what the fuckin' hell is goin' on
Why am I
Why am I so single
I'm tryin' hard to score but I'm stuck in goal
I don't get it
Why am I so single
The only thing I'm eatin' out is this tube of Pringles
He doesn't get it
Why am I so single
Anne's off gettin' laid but I'm the other Boleyn girl
I never get it
Why am I so single
It's like they're singin'
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi
But I'm not bilingual
Je ne comprend pas pourquoi je suis so single
Pourquoi je suis so single
Ho oh oh oh oh
Yeah maybe this is why actually
Yeah probably yeah
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